The Lulu Diaries
by misspoptart
Summary: FFX from Lulu's POV, starting from when she accidentally becomes a voyeur in Macalania Forest. Seeing Tidus and Yuna together awakens her feelings for Yuna and stirs her already present, but subdued obsession with Tidus. Can she make a decision? It's been a long, dry pilgrimage for bi-(pan?)sexual Lulu...threesomes later on! Tidus x Lulu x Yuna!
1. Macalania Forest, Day 35

Hi all. Even though this fic is retro (10+ years!), it's my first. I think about FFX all the time, and I write, but the marriage of the two things is something I've tried to avoid. No more! I'm gonna write and public a damn fanfic! So, enjoy. This will neither be long nor epic, but it will have more chapters if you're interested. So let me know! R&R!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters and I wouldn't want to! Please don't file a lawsuit, I can happily remove this before you deem that necessary! Gotta give some credit to Square Enix (well, Squaresoft, actually), which owns quite a bit of excellent cleavage.

**Macalania Forest, Pilgrimage Day 35**

I glanced around the camp again before confirming what I already knew to be true: Yuna and Tidus were missing from our cozy little group in Macalania. They had wandered off together, and I knew what they were up to; I have been 17 once. So, half-curiously and half-reluctantly, I went looking for them.

There they were, lazily kissing one another on the shore of a lovely pond, both soaking wet. The water reflected the natural moonlight and treelight of the forest wonderfully. All in all, it was a gorgeous and romantic night, and I couldn't blame them for taking advantage of this peaceful moment. Should I be surprised? After all, I had lost my virginity in the temple of Besaid.

But to see Yuna's lips intertwined with Tidus'…well, I won't deny that I was turned on at first. I saw Tidus' hand slide up her dress, and I barely stifled a gasp as her top fell down around her waist and her perky breasts were exposed. Tidus' dark-skinned hand looked like chocolate dripping on cream against Yuna's pale breasts, and I was immediately jealous. As few know, but many speculate, I am a sexual creature; it had been far too long for me, and I had been pondering the idea of Tidus for just as long as Yuna, perhaps. The problem is, I couldn't bring myself to take any important experience away from her. The experience of young love…especially before…

Anyway, the scene was beautiful, in and of itself. They fell to the ground, smiling and shyly playing with each other. From my vantage point behind an old tree, I realized, suddenly, that what they were engaged in was actually post-play. These two had probably had sex moments before—in the pond?—and were starting round two at a much slower pace.

Yuna, I pondered. No longer a virgin…

Would that change her resolve? Would she so easily be able to re-focus on her task as a summoner now that her role as a woman…and a lover…was validated? Previously, she considered herself the savior of Spira. Would being Tidus' girl be an equally strong desire?

Likely not, I thought to myself. He's just a boy. But oh, he is so handsome.

Ever since our conversation in Guadosalam…

"Is something happening between you and Yuna? Don't let it," I had warned him.

"You're more my type, Lulu," he had openly said. I was taken aback, but I haven't forgotten that comment.

In fact, those words replayed over and over in my mind as I watched his hands wrap around her waist and his fingers caress her skin. He cradled her neck; he kissed her deeply. She made no noise when her back arched. I couldn't see it, but I knew where his fingers were. "You're more my type, Lulu…"

What did that mean? Seeing them now, having a more or less innocent session, I wasn't so sure that I was his type. How long I had dreamed of spanking Tidus, pinching his thighs, slapping one of my belts across his chest and then dripping candle wax along the marks. Would he scream? Will he scream when I do it someday? I'll find out, because now I know I will absolutely have a chance. Now that I have seen him "make love" to Yuna, I am looking forward to showing him what it's like to "have sex" with me.


	2. The Calm Lands, Day 36

**The Calm Lands, Pilgrimage Day 36**

Unfortunately, my last diary entry was interrupted. As I was writing about what I had just witnessed (and done, as I am about to divulge), Rikku blinked open an eye beside me and yawned. "What'cha wriiiting?" she asked playfully. I shut my diary, tucked it away quickly, and said, "what's it to you?"

"Hmph!" she said sleepily, then rolled over and went back to sleep. Sleep overtook me, too. So here I am today, relaxing on a blanket in the Calm Lands with Yuna and Kimahri, as Tidus stubbornly tries to beat his chocobo racing record by catching balloons and evading seagulls. Wakka, Rikku, and Auron are out perusing the fields and looking for treasure. It's been a calm afternoon so far, save for the few flans and malboros terrorizing the plain. Not a problem, really. If they approach this picnic I will swiftly put them to rest.

Back to last night.

As soon as I saw Yuna and Tidus' excitement escalating for the third, fourth, fifth or possibly one-hundredth time that night, I revealed myself by walking causally down the path to the pond.

I cleared my throat as if to say, "hello, someone's watching you."

Tidus scrambled to his feet, and, putting his right hand behind his head, looked down at his feet and drew a sharp breath in through his teeth. Yuna struggled to get her clothes together and wrapped herself up in what I guessed to be her undershirt.

"Lulu," she said breathlessly. "I…we…"

"We don't need to explain," Tidus ventured confidently. He glanced at Yuna softly, but she shook her head and sniffed.

"Aren't you cold?" I asked coyly, crossing my arms.

They looked at me meekly, wide-eyed and unsure how to proceed. "Tidus, go back to camp."

"Yes, ma'am," he said sarcastically, faux marching by me and looking back with a surprised expression. I wonder what he was thinking in that moment. CAUGHT! DOOMED! No—lucky for him I haven't learned "doom" or "death" spells yet…

I paused, allowing Yuna time to consider what had happened. Seeing her shiver, I approached her suddenly and embraced her small form. Stepping back after seeing her shock, I softened my expression. "Yuna, I am not mad at you."

"You…you aren't?"

"Not yet, anyway," I smiled. "Get dressed, and walk with me."

Yuna hurriedly got her clothes back on, shaking her hair dry and patting her skirt flat. I turned away from her to give her a moment of privacy. When she was ready, she stood beside me, and we began to walk silently.

I wanted her to speak first; give her an opportunity to show some confidence. After all, she had experienced what I presumed to be her first sexual encounter, unless something had happened with Seymour. But we all doubted that very much.

"Lulu, I'm not sure why it happened…with…with Tidus. I was very sad, and he…he understood me."

I stopped walking and looked at her, eye-to-eye. "You are seventeen, Yuna. It's perfectly normal to be attracted to a young man like Tidus. He's adorable."

"Hm?" Yuna said with a curious tone. "Do you think he was the right person?"

I laughed. "He's your only choice, for now. Auron is…well, let's not go there. Wakka, well…he's busy. Kimahri? I certainly hope not!"

She giggled, too, and then we sat down on a nearby branch. I looked up at the falling leaves, heard the sound of musicians far above. I wondered, briefly, how much time we had before morning.

"So how far did it go, then?" I ventured. She had always told me all of her innermost thoughts. I had no doubts she would reveal them this time.

"I'm…I'm not sure, exactly."

This was something unexpected. She wasn't sure…exactly. Would I be forced to ask for explicit details? No. I changed the topic abruptly.

"Yuna, you are very precious to me, and I must say…I don't feel entirely comfortable with what happened tonight."

"I won't do it again," she said quickly, without thinking.

Her eyes began to water as she stared up at me; my little sister, Yuna. My beautiful, green-eyed, blue-eyed summoner. I looked at her with all of my love, then brushed a few strands of hair out of her face.

Even though I knew the answer, I graciously asked, "Was is pleasurable, Yuna?"

"Yes…" she said hesitantly. "And no," she admitted, a single tear falling.

Immediately I knew. She was attracted to someone else.

"I see." We sat like that for a few minutes, quietly listening to the sounds of the forest and breathing deeply. I wanted her to express her feelings, show me what she was thinking, so I could process her emotions and do with them what I will. But she sat silently as I, and we said nothing.

Eventually, I rose from my perch, flipping my long black braids away from my fur dress, which I could feel now was matted with sweat. I _was_ nervous. Nervous because I knew I had a chance to…

Looking at Yuna, I clutched her hand to help her up, and said softly, "Come."

As I pulled her up, a gentle extra tug of her arm allowed our lips to touch: Yuna's reflexes pulled her back, but my other arm was already behind her, drawing her in and holding her up against me tightly.

With eyes still open, I watched her surprised face evolve into one of surrender, closing her lids and falling into the kiss. Black cherry lipstick, I thought. I get them every time.

I'll have to finish this bit later. Kimahri has wandered off to buy something at the shop, and it seems I may have another chance to speak with Yuna, alone.


	3. The Cavern of the Stolen Fayth, Day 37

**The Cavern of the Stolen Fayth, Day 37**

Well, here I am again in a place I'd rather not be: the death site of my former summoner, Lady Ginnem. Were I but wiser and more experienced, she might still be with us today. I still consider myself responsible for what happened, and now that I am here again in these hallowed caves, I feel a deep-rooted sense of remorse. But rather than fill these pages with sadness, I'll use this moment of peace and remembrance to shed light on her life.

Lady Ginnem was—how can I put it—an amazing woman. In the beginning, I wanted to be a summoner myself. As my best friend and confidante, Lady Ginnem insisted I be her guardian instead, and her resolve was strong. She was three years older than I, and taught me everything I know today: how to function in the world of men, the history of Spira, and most importantly, black magic. Without her, I would have been not unlike Lady Yuna, setting off for my pilgrimage at the age of 17.

Our relationship as friends evolved into an intense love after the fall of her boyfriend, Chappu. Chappu, Ginnem, and I had a very intense understanding of one another, and, prior to the pilgrimage and the formation of the Crusaders, we all lived together in Besaid. We would explore the limits of our feelings—and bodies—with each other, many late nights after the other villages had gone to bed.

I remember the night when Lady Ginnem asked me softly, "Hey, Lu…do you think that Chappu is attractive?"

I smiled faintly, unsure how to answer the question, and never having thought of it before. I answered, "Yes, I suppose."

She gasped. "You _suppose?_ I find him incredibly—"

"Well of course _you _do," I snapped. "He's your boyfriend."

We sat in silence for a moment, with the faint glow of a dying bonfire splashing the walls of her tent, where we often stayed together.

"He wants you, Lu."

I stared into the darkness, saying nothing. "And me. Together." Her voice became chillingly serious, and I wasn't sure how to respond.

But after that conversation, the dynamic between the three of us spun out of control; Lady Ginnem and I had unbelievable chemistry, and I found myself wanting her more than Chappu, at times. But Chappu often acted as though he wanted me alone, forcing Lady Ginnem to beg for his attention. The triangle was cliché in that sense, with no one ever satisfied but striving constantly to please. Then, suddenly, and without much reason, Lady Ginnem started her pilgrimage, choosing me and leaving Chappu.

So as I sit here in front of her unsent form, I'm searching for meaning: we spoke so few words after leaving Besaid, and she used me for her own pleasure and little more during the journey. Night after night, Lady Ginnem would undress me slowly, taunt me, bind my limbs and take me without a hint of affection.

However, I still loved her. I was caught up in her twisted game but enjoyed every minute of it: she awoke a strange desire in me to dominate my lovers, and do unto them as she had done to me. Lady Ginnem: as fierce as they come. Now, as I watch her eyes and stare at her frail form, she seems weak and beaten.

I cannot let than happen to Yuna, and I will not treat her as Lady Ginnem treated me. That is why, when I spoke to her in the Calm Lands, I explained my feelings for her. It seems the company is moving on out of the Cavern of the Stolen Fayth, so I'll make this short: Yuna is willing to let me take her, alone and in private, during out next rest.

"I need to know if my feelings for Tidus are real," she whispered, the sun lighting up her then-gloomy face. "I'll know as soon as someone else touches me."

Although I'm not convinced it is the easiest way, at least I have an excuse now.


End file.
